"i don't know that i agree with most of these assumptions you're making here."
damn.
and that was friday.
and i wait.
wait for something worthwhile to come to mind.
something that doesn't involve design.
or my thesis.
i really don't want this journal to become a list of inadequacies that i have with myself.
or about complaining about my life.
which, really, in the grand scheme of things, is pretty spectacular.
and, in a few months, the "school" chapter of my life will end, and the "real world" chapter will begin. with the turn of a life page, a new story will unfold.
and that, quite frankly, scares me. from my grown-up head to my toes. it scares me.
literally, figuratively, creatively, immediately.
on the one hand it's scary, but on the other: extremely exciting.
freedom.
i could be anywhere doing anything in 6 months. literally.
(i didn't tell you this, but i'm focusing my job search in the philadelphia area.....i fell in love.)
but i want to be happy.
and be able to pay off my ample amount of student loans. call me a realist.
perhaps the scariest part will be saying farewell to the daily conversations with great friends. the chance to see everyone on a regular basis.
we have all grown up and changed so much through these 5 years.
we've grown together.
like a vine or a tree. 70 of us.
beautiful stories, wonderful memories, and acquaintances will fade.
and before too long we will each have run-ins with people that look like someone we used to know.
we will measure each other by success and failure.
by jobs and family.
by bottom lines.
some will surprise, some will remain exactly the same.
how will i fit? how will i transfer to a new vine?
i haven't even planted my seeds. or decided which side of the house.
i just hope i end up on the south side. because i love the sun.