ugh.
so many of the dials in my life have turned in "changing."
student status
next phase of life
city
state
region of country
friend base within 1,000 miles
etc,etc.
suffice to say that nearly everything in my life is changing, with the exception of those who love me. and who i love.
and just as i prepare to leave, just as i become ready to leave, i find a reason to stay. which isn't really a reason at all, just a hope. a hopeless hope.
i know better. but he called me incredible.
incredible.
i am extremely disappointed with california.
in case you didn't hear, they upheld the ban on gay marriage.
i know, i know- hotbutton issue.
and think what you will about the subject, but it made me feel rather melancholy all day.
the law of the land said that i am not worthy of equality.
that i should not be able to marry the person i love.
and i just wanted to fly out there, and shake somebody while proclaiming "i am a real person, i have real emotions just like you."
it just blows my mind.
i sat there listening to NPR and listened to the teared voices of those opposing proposition 8, saying, in desperation, that they need to go door to door and make everyone realize that we are real people. saying that we need to try harder for equality, and raise more awareness, and get out in the communities more.
and it just.....gets to me.
california: national base of the gays (sanfran) can't even pass marriage equality laws. and i'm sure if that same bill came through north dakota, it would be laughed off of the floor.
this is circumstantial, of course. but i can't imagine that a state that doesn't even support gays as a protected class for job placement would exactly allow us to marry.
i guess i can only hope that future sessions will produce different results.
and thank god for those wise enough to take on the fight.
-----
next section.
if i move 2,000 miles away, promise not to think that i am running away?
as my days in the nodak tick to single digits, it kind of pulls at my heart strings to think that i won't be living here. this weekend, i took hwy 52 from fargo to the northwest. this is my favorite route to take. it's so beautiful.
no cities, few towns,
mostly the rolling hills of north dakota, rolling towards and away from me. green and glorious, almost singing a peaceful song as the sun sets over their brims.
and although i had a pretty fair piece of contempt for this "boring land" throughout my high school years,
my college travels and experience has brought me to appreciate the life and the land of north dakota for what it is.
and i think it's one of the most beautiful states in the union.
because, dammit, it is beautiful.
